Tag Archives: bloggers

People Don’t Change: Except on Halloween

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Mystique

 

Yes, I was Mystique last night. Not a smurf, not an Avatar, not Genie, and DEFINITELY not Beetlejuice (to the bro who guessed that at Container Bar on Rainey: You. Are. An. Idiot.)

I had an amazing time with my friends (a goddess, an 80’s chick, a pirate, and Rainbow Brite), drank that PERFECT amount that only causes a slight morning headache, and somehow managed to convince multiple people (friends AND one handsome stranger…or WAS he handsome…?) to help reapply that cheap blue paint when it started to crust off.

It was win complete with food truck tacos, our friend’s band performance at Gypsy Lounge, and next-day Kerbey Lane brunch.

All of this coincides with an overused, but relevant expression: People don’t change. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately–the catalyst being the same catalyst for so much in my life…doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results (insanity as old Alby calls it).

I’m usually so good at recognizing it and steering away, self-solving. When I applied for Teach for America Hawaii. When I forced myself to finish my novel and self-publish. When I decided to start teaching high school instead of middle school. When I promised myself at least one new country per year. But I guess those are so internally-based, 100% me, myself, and I…it’s so much harder when you’re only 50% of a relationship. Your expectations of another person- a friend, a family member, a boyfriend, an i-wish-you-were-my-boyfriend, etc…are probably insane. That’s how I’ve been feeling lately at least.

Here’s what I mean: if people don’t change (I mean the true, real, nitty-gritty of a person), then why do we keep expecting them to? Human nature I guess. WELL I QUIT GODDAMMIT.

I shall expect nothing. Except, ya’ know, normal things that I’ve always expected and that are totally normal to expect because they derive from that person’s true self. Like…I will always expect my mother to use the word “Behave” via text/phone call on Halloween night, regardless of the fact that I am nearing 30 years old.

But other than that sort of stuff- nada. People rarely change. I like that better. Because, ya’ know, there are those fall-through-the-crack exceptions to the rule who truly, truly change. But if a guy has been treating you fairly shit-tastically for quite some time…chances are, that’s not changin’ any time soon, darlin’. Yes, I’m talking to myself here, people, just allow it. Stop insanely expecting some life-altering 360-degree turn-around. That’s just the Disney princess inside of you.

On October 31st, you’ll see tiaras, cat-eye contacts, wigs, fake tats, masks, and tutus. It’s really fun and you’ll be like, “OHMERGERD YOUR JON SNOW HAIR IS LIKE, SPOT ON.” But people don’t change their entire personality/outlook/morals/ethics/attitude.

People get haircuts and people have good days where they’ll say something particularly nice to you. But if, on all those other, normal days…they don’t say anything nice…ever…why keep ’em around? Choose who you surround yourself with. Choose to surround yourself with people who you can expect to be there for you- people who make you feel completely safe having that expectation of them. NOT people who constantly let you down and leave you expecting “maybe a different outcome next time…or the next time…or the next time.”

Happy Halloween, fellow bloggers 🙂 I hope the night was everything you expected it to be and I hope your company was everything you expected them to be. Mine sure were!

Bloggers Wanted: Blog Tour Time!

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The Waiting Room

Hey bloggers! Yes, YOU!

Interested in hosting me for part of my blog tour?

LOOKING FOR:

-bloggers interested in supporting indie authors

-bloggers who love turning pages!

-bloggers who think THE WAITING ROOM sounds like a good read 🙂


WHAT DO YOU GET?

-links to your blog will appear on my website, my author Facebook page, my Twitter, and here on my blog!

-the freedom to choose what exactly you’d like to feature on your blog (author interview, book review, promotional flyer reveal, etc.)

-the chance to support an indie author (karma, baby)

 

EMAIL ME: ALYSHAKAYE@GMAIL.COM

And check out the reviews so far on Amazon and Goodreads!

 

Liebster Blog Award Nomination

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Yay, I was nominated for the Liebster Blog Award by Kaleidoscopic Kites! Thank you chica:)

liebsterawardrules

Here are my 11 random facts:

I’m obsessed with tomatoes (they’re delicious). || I write a lot of poetry and song lyrics that no one is allowed to read. || I am considering getting a tattoo of a Cummings quote or an Angelou quote. || I’ve been to 16 countries. || I have a weakness for dimples. || My mom tried to have more children, but I was the only lucky winner winner chicken dinner. || I had a spinal fusion and now have a crazy scar that I tell fibs about. || I sobbed uncontrollably while reading The Time Traveler’s Wife and then started writing my novel. || I haven’t seen my father since I was very young, but I have the best step-dad EVER. || The color yellow is everywhere in my apartment. || I used to hate beer; now I love it! ||

And my answers to Kaleidoscopic Kite’s questions:

1) If you were any movie character, who would you be? Hermoine, maybe? Magic rocks.

2) Do you tell the truth, lie, or keep secrets the most? Hmmm…I feel like I tell the truth TOO much sometimes. My friends say I’d be Candor if we lived in Divergent‘s world.

3) If you could try any exotic food, what would it be? I looove trying new food. One I haven’t tried yet is Ethiopian- I’ve heard good things.

4) Do you have a hidden talent? I am fantastic at NOT showering, but looking like I did.

5) Who is your biggest role model? My madre, for sure. She is a genuine badass.

6) Why and when did you start writing? I’ve been writing since I was really little- being an only child forces your imagination to run wild.

7) Would you rather be invisibility powers or be able to see things that are invisible? Why? I don’t believe in ghosts/spirits so I guess I’d have to go with the first option!

8) Favorite book? Oh, goodness, tough. I will always have a huge spot in my heart for the classic, Catcher in the Rye.

9) Put these in order to your liking for which is most important to you the most to the least: Money, Love, or Time. I’m a teacher so money is obviously last, ha! Love and Time are super hard to choose from. I’m one of those people who freak out -often- about wasting time/not having enough time. But love is something I dream of having again.

10) Do you have any weird habits? When I eat pizza, I take one bite of the “front” and then one bite of the crust and then repeat. It drives my friend Jennifer crazy.

11) Favorite topic to write about? Just…life. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Realistic fiction.

 

And now my 11 nominations, check them out! These guys rock:

1. Anika: Saturday Night’s Alright for Writing

2. Jalal: My Success is Your Success

3. Nic:  The Tailor-Made Trilogy

4. Alex: Adult & Teen Fiction

5. James: Language Arts Blog

6. Christi: Novel Conclusions

7. Jess: Down the Road

8. A Collection of Musings

9. John: Write me a book, John!

10. Eric: Written Words Never Die

11. Jennifer Nicole Wells

And my 11 questions for you awesome people:

1. Screw, marry, kill: Oprah, Beiber, Ron Weasley. Go!

2. You have $1.99 to spend as you choose: what do you buy?

3. Guilty pleasure read?

4. Guilty pleasure TV show and/or movie?

5. Where would you like to be a fly on the wall?

6. What dish do you cook to impress people?

7. You can only consume 3 foods for the rest of your life. You choose:

8. Most-hated word?

9. Favorite element of a smore? (This tells a lot about a person, trust me)

10. Nose hairs- what are your thoughts?

11. What makes your palms sweat?