Dates for Dorks

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First of all, these date ideas ARE stolen from another blog. Can’t take credit for this awesomeness. But I did want to reblog and add my own comments. I need to find someone who is willing to do some of this crazy nonsense.

1. Go on a search for as many good climbing trees as possible, climb as high as you both can in all of them, compile photo evidence.

Ok so this one, not so interested. Simply because I am a terrible tree-climber. Ever since I was little really (which is when you’re supposed to be into this kind of thing and good at it too) I’ve looked at trees and thought, “Yeah, fuck that.” I’d rather sit underneath them. Or eat whatever fruit they provide. Or ignore them all together.

2. Go to a major chain bookstore and leave notes to future readers in copies of your favorite books.

This one is BADASS. Why haven’t I done this already, on my own?? English major, nerd status, need to do this asap. Maybe it seems creepy if you slip notes into books, by yourself. When you have an accomplice in something like this, it automatically becomes poetic and cute. Here’s the question though: what do you write in the notes? I mean, they’re your favorite books so I guess you’re like, congratulating the buyer? Or building up their anticipation? “I hope you love these words as much as I did and do. –Just another reader” Cheesy? Don’t care.

3. Have her dress up as a ghost and you dress up us pacman. Walk around downtown holding hands, and whenever anyone sees you two, pretend to be embarrassed, and run off screaming “wocka wocka wocka.”

I’d rather dress up as Ms. Pacman, but this is pretty sweet. And hilarious. Maybe for Halloween? Any other day might be a little strange. I also don’t want him to run away from me. What would I do? Awkwardly wait for him to come back, and then start the whole charade over? That’s odd.

4. Create photo evidence suggesting that you went on an adventure that didn’t really happen.

Why can’t we just go on the adventure? But I guess it’d be cool if it was an unattainable adventure. Maybe involving dinosaurs?

5. Dress up as superheroes and stop at least one petty crime i.e. jaywalking, littering…

As long as people don’t get pissed at us and kick our ass or something. Because I can kind of see that happening. “Halt! Pick up that cigarette butt! You there!” *Stab* Death.

6. Build forts out of furniture and blankets and wage war with paper airplanes.

Yes, please. But then can we sign a peace treaty, combine our forts into a kingdom, and live happily ever after? J

7. Try and visit as many people as you can in one night and turn as many things inside their apartment upside down as you can without them noticing.

Oh man, I would hate if this happened to me. But damn, it is hilarious when it happens to someone else! How do you turn some things upside down though? I need to experiment with this, I don’t think I fully understand.

8. Go to the airport, get the cheapest, soonest departing flight to anywhere when you show up, and stay there for a weekend.

Yes, yes, yes. I’ve always wanted to do this.

9. Write a piece of fiction together. Outside at a cafe. Ask strangers when you get stuck.

Creative writing major, so of course this got to me. But I don’t imagine my significant other being a very good writer. I’m just saying, most people don’t like writing. Plus, I’d probably hate all of their ideas. I’d definitely hate all the strangers’ ideas. Writing snob? Yeah.

10. Dress to the nines, pretend to be married, and test drive very expensive vehicles at an auto dealership.

Does this work? I think I’d need to look older. Or he would. I still get confused for a middle school student at the school I teach at. Fail. But hey, I love dressing up.

11. Do the lamest tourist thing in your area that you have both secretly wanted to do forever. Have an unabashed good time!

I think I’ve already done all the lame tourist things in Hawaii. Well, except maybe the Segway tour. I’m down for that.

12. In the middle of the night, drive to the beach, so you arrive just as the sun is rising. Have a breakfast picnic, and then fall asleep together. Bring a sun umbrella.

So this is perfect for the place I live…an island. Now it’s going on my Hawaii Bucket List.

13. Drive somewhere unknown and have dinner in a city you’ve never been to. With fake names.

Ooh la la. I want my name to be Alex. I’ve always wanted that to be my name. Now for a cool last name… For some reason, everything I’m thinking sounds like a stripper name. Well.

14. Go to a minor league baseball game under the stars. Tell each other stories about how bad you are at athletics. Randomly cheer for both teams. Eat lots of cracker jacks.

This is perfect since I suck at all sports and I don’t understand baseball at all (what is an inning?). He would ruin this if he got too into the game though. I want a hot dog too. And a beer.

15. Go around the city with sidewalk chalk and draw hearts with equations inside on random things.

Equations? What do I look like, a math teacher? Let’s cut that part out and just draw on sidewalks. And play hopscotch.

16. Walk around a city and perform short silent plays in front of security cameras.

This is kind of funny. I’ve done this drunk multiple times I believe. Except I guess they weren’t so much plays as they were…drunken dances.

17. With camera and pair of boots, make photo-log of a day in the life of the invisible man.

This is dumb. That is all.

18. Walk around the city all night and find a place to eat breakfast at dawn.

This sounds awesome. Do we have to walk around ALL night though? I mean, there can be some sitting and laying down, right?

19. Go to a restaurant and convince the cook to create something completely new for you.

This would be legendary, even if the dish sucked. Even if the chef hated us and spit in it. I’d eat every bite.

20. Rent a movie you’ve never seen before. Set on mute and improvise dialogue.

I WANT TO DO THIS SO BAD. It’d be better to do this to a romantic comedy, right? I don’t really want to be murdered by my date, even if he’s just doing the dialogue of the killer. Creepy.

 

So there you have it. Twenty pretty random dates. If you get bored, try one out and let me know how it goes! I’m definitely going to try to cross some of these off the list soon. If I find a date. Who doesn’t think these are absurd. Hmm…

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About Alysha Kaye Mendez

Author of THE WAITING ROOM, available now on Amazon! 9th grade English teacher, tirelessly trying to save the future from their/they're/there catastrophes (it could be ugly). Teaching writing and being a writer at the same time is harder than it sounds. New goal=be both, better.

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